Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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