GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
