you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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