North Korea, Best Korea!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
