her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
