Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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