That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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