I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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