we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
