I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
