Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
