C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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