and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
