i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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