that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
