Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
