How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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