she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
