There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
