So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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