Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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