Small penises have feelings too.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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