is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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