I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
