hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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