wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Send help, water and tortillas.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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