Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
