He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is my gift to your gina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
