So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hippo gnu deer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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