best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
