Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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