he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
