like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
