I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
