i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
