I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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