this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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