Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
