They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
