So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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