thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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