When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
