weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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