Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
