as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
