is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
