I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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