I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
