Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
