last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
